lately. i've been thinking i've developed insomnia.

sleepless nights are becoming more frequent and nights with 3-4 hours of sleep are the norm.

i figure the cause is the change in my lifestyle. back in spring i concluded i am little too weightly and began a drastic overhaul of my diet, added some physical activity that has resulted in a weight drop from 160lbs to roughly 130lbs. only this week did i seek professional advice and maybe losing this much weight for someone who wasn't really overweight to begin wasn't healthy.

the low-carb high-protein mantra may have gone to my head as i relied basically on cottage cheese, tuna, carboard tasting oatmeal and whole grain breads.

at the same time, i started out running on a daily basis. they were a good way to clear my mind and surprisingly healed my lower back pains that were nagging for a good three years. turns a lot a little physical activity did the job rather than relying on walk-in clinic doctors and their muscle inflammation pills. at first i did light jogs of about one or two mile at the most to weeks later feeling disappointed if i didn't run at least 5 miles six times a week.

over the last 2 weeks i've come to realize may i've been doing this all wrong. the gut may be gone but it's replaced with the ghastly sight of all my ribs. at the beach on sunday, all i got is "wtf" looks from everyone. knowing little about nutrition and how to supplement a runner's diet, i messed my body to the max.

i look bad and others tell me so.

on top of this is the post-school job search anxiety. last week a job opportunity like sand snaked its way through my fingers and vanished just as fast. i didn't check the "professional" email address for a few days, nor the telephone messages, and so days later working my way through the federal bureaucracy in search of this job and the offer resulted in hapless pleas bordering desperation for work.

now even wanted ads in coffee shops are tempting as a place of work with their "walk in interview" signs. how could they possibly turn down a university graduate to serve coffee?