today on my lunch break i headed down to a nearby coffee joint to drink my "large regular" in peace and away from the co-workers i'm beginning to dislike. this past week i concluded i just don't like people. but back to my lunch break story:

nearby was what appeared to be a couple on a date; both roughly in their mid late 30s and neither particularly attractive. he wore a black leather jacket, sported tight acid wash jeans and a slick blonde-haired pony tail. think of every metallica fan circa 1988 if you're drawing a blank. she has black jeans and a blue jean jacket. may have had some mental disorder but i cannot conclude.

he was going on how he sings in a band and the range of his voice allows him to cover anything from bon jovi to megadeath or something like that. then he went on about how he hates rap and hip-hop and doesn't know the difference between the two. he doesn't think there is a difference as he busted out the classic "rap is crap" cliche.

but the metal head realized the problem with his argument and was quick to point out people can make the same mistake when talking about metal. there's death metal, speed metal, and he mentioned a few more but i couldn't hear his justification as to why "types of metal" are all different.

the whole time the date sat there looking around aimlessly the walls and back into her coffee cup. i heard a few "uh huh"s but that's about it before they got up and left. i found the whole incident rather amusing.

he's so getting laid right now.

i laughed to myself stepping out of the coffee shop thinking this is so bloggable. i really do must hate people.

Come September, I'll be in Pearl Jam heaven:

Sept. 11th: Kitchner
Sept. 12th: London
Sept. 13th: Hamilton
Sept. 15th: Montreal
Sept. 16th: Ottawa
Sept. 19th: Toronto

I don't like how they stuck Montreal in the middle of the Ontario tour, but whatever, it's all relevant when it's Pearl Jam that were talking about! I love the plethora of Ontario shows. That's hot!

so tonight i overhear a couple of fellas talking about pearl jam and rumours of a canadian tour. we've been hearing canadian rumours for years now but nothing materialized. i haven't gone on the band's site in a little while but just now i dialed on. the background chanting of vedder has been replaced with canadian anthem and the site's administrators are telling fans to update their fan club memberships eh. FUCKING EH!!!!

MASSIVE ROAD TRIP WHENEVER THIS TOUR IS ANNOUNCED PEOPLE. WE'RE TALKING MONCTON IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES!!!!!!!!!!

pardon me while i go insane for the next several hours and try and contain myself. this is bigger than the second coming of jesus christ!

tonight misty queen and myself saw the weakerthans play at lee's palace. few nights ago she was reluctant about going as she has big paper due the next morning and knowing her ambitious studious ways i thought i'd have give the ticket to someone else. there was plenty of willing but i wanted her to go for a particular reason. so i told her to really listen to the reconstruction site and she was sold. one obvious way to get someone to go to a concert is have them listen to their music. up until tuesday night, she was going to see a band she's never heard of and wasn't supposed to until tonight. she budged and so i gave in.

there's something pure and beautiful about first being in concert. musical equivalent of no marriage before sex. this was my personal introduction to the stars, broken social scene and apostle of hustle. it's entirely raw, complete engagement in the unknown sounds and fascinating expectations of beauty created in the same room and not through an impersonal speaker. every song seems like a spontaneous jam and fucking dammit, it was stunning. CDs are mere novel recordings you've never experienced, watching musicians create music in front of your eyes and deliver them to your ears, that's something else. something else is all that comes to mind as i cannot find the words for you to understand such an experience.

i thought if misty queen experienced the weakerthans in this fashion she'd never sneer when "some band" comes to town. i recommend everyone to do this: check the concert listings, spot the band all the kids are raving about but you've never heard of and spend the $14.50 to see them. i can't guarantee you'll enjoy the band, but if you find the right one; bliss i tell you. it's a gateway drug. magic being created every night at nearby concert halls and you let it pass you by.

the weakerthans were solid tonight. they threw in several songs misty queen's never heard and partially got to experience the magic of musical invention. the constantines opened and i've heard that name but not a single song, but they didn't "do it for me". bubkis. the singer's vocals are annoying and the sounds all over the place. i like order but too each his own. misty queen enjoyed it while casually slipping bravado juice. at one point, she turned to me and said, "this music speaks to me." i do not know what she meant but i've heard that somewhere.

i didn't enjoy myself to the fullest extent knowing i am going to be on the computer through the night while watching the sunrise and the pope funeral while attempting to finish my essay on civility and punishment. you can't enjoy yourself knowing schoolwork awaits is a complete mood killer. part of me wants the concert to end so i can get home & write but other part never wants the night to end. it's me divided against myself. but time never ceases to exist and the show ends.

while the concert attendees are dispersing to their beds, i fire up the ol' ms word. misty queen was wise and finished her work ahead of time and is now nestled in her bed. (hopefully) taking pleasure in random impulses from her brain's pons producing vivid hallucinations of me which are known as dreams. i have so much to learn from her, yet i am more concerned about educating her on the magic of live music. there's a lesson in this but i c an't put my finger on it. i wish i had finished my work ahead of time but laziness sure can be stubborn. its will finally gives in 6-8 hours before the work is to be handed it. there's still time i say.

instead of writing the paper, i'm writing gibberish and flipping through my mp3 folder to find that one single song to suit this moment. but there is nothing in my library entitled, "you_fucking_moron_write_the _paper.mp3". the "intellectual" juices have been subdued signalling the mind is empty. more approprately, i am buying time before the "working against the clock" anxious sensation takes hold.

is it wrong of me to watch the new jojo video and hope that her sex videotape makes its way on the net soon? assuming there is one. and if there is no videotape, i am hoping some photographer caught boobie shots of jojo on one those "laid back" beaches. she's cute; in that pedophiliac sorta way. according to her new song, she is not that kinda girl. this only stirs those sorta thoughts i shouldnt have. how is it exactly that music execs let this kiddy porn lite on air is beyond my comprehension. if you're specimen with a penis and can sit through her video without the slightest sexual thought, you are probably gay. how old is that kid anyways? turn 18 already so i dont feel like a dirty old man!

fuck, it's high time i wrote about civility and punishment.

in the last few days i've a heard a wide range of opinions regarding the legacy the pope. everything from the greatest human ever to the catalyst behind the demise of catholicism. i suppose all great figures spur extreme opinions and the pope is no expection. there are several facets to the pope which can't be put into a single tidbit of either being good or bad, because you aren't doing the man any justice.

my legacy of the pope comes from the anecdotes of my father describing life under communist poland before the church elected a pole as their spiritual leader. it was a godless, spiritually dead nation where faith was shrouded in deep secrecy. lenin was the state authorized version of god and anything else made you the enemy. you didn't wear a cross around your neck, but a pin of lenin. that was your god, whether you liked it or not. then the radical transition in 1980s where a religious leader stirred polish nationalism to break away from its oppression throughout much of the 20th century. the pope lived through it all as well; he survived nazi occupation, soviet occupation, communism and through it secrectly devoted his life to the teachings of the catholic church. and upon being elected pope, returned to his native land bring about radical political and social change. within a single visit everything slowly began unravel. one man, completely devoted something else went into poland and said his people should have god. the next few years witnessed uprisings, political mobilization and all of which the pope whole heartedly supported. indirect revolutionary if you will. by 1989, the polish communists were toppled and spread like wildfire to neigbouring countries. in 1991, the socialist experiment a la soviet style, which defined much of 20th century relations diminished.

he defined the political and social landscape of his native land for generations to come. few nights ago i watched a powerful clip of the pope standing face-to-face with the polish dictator; stern yet humbly listening to the polish dictator mutter carelessly and his knees literarily trembling knowing he is the presence of a single man who embodied polish liberty and had the nation behind him. that's the pope, i will remember above all and what he represents to my ancestral homeland.

john paul ii as the pope is a little more difficult to approach. one criticism against him is his utlra-conservative stance. i thought i shared the same sentiment but the more i think about it, that criticism against him is rather absurd. it makes no sense; you either agree with the church and what it stands for or you don't; simple as that. what's great about modernity is not following catholicism doesn't mean burning at the stake. they've apologized for those nutty things they've done in that past and no longer monopolize the truth. you have the right to make the choice to seek out our salvation. if you want follow their teachings, make sure you do it whole heartedly.

so to me, it's absurd to criticize the pope for being ultra-conservative; sexist, homophobic, and so forth. his principles are rooted in philosophies founded 2 000 years ago and they may not necessarily match with modernity, but that's what devotion ultimately means. now i know, i've said critical things of the church, even in this blog. the pope's principles do not match my own. just the more i think about it, you can't attack someone's principles, especially the pope's, seeing as they've remained constant throughout his adulthood. ulitmately, i cannot criticize something i cannot commit myself to.

his "conservatism" stems from morals and teachings from the bible. that conservatism gets mixed up with politics and ultimately, the pope was not a politician. you can't think of the pope as a secular politician too heavily drawn into faith, he certainly did not want to thought of in such a way. his "conservativism" wasn't swayed by public opinion and he stuck to his morals through and though. sure, that may have turned many away from the church. but i have to hand it to the man for sticking to his principles in a world driven materialism & instant gratification not bend the church to meet new world realities. i may not agree with many of the things the pope stands for, but it takes balls to be devoted as he was.

one the things that pissed me off about world youth day, pope's little shindig for the young, is how distorted the event had become. he didn't haul his frail body to toronto in 2002 so you could attend some sort of "pope stock" and simply see the pope as if he's your favourite band passing through town. but he came with a message and a purpose; a vision of what it meant to live a moral life. which is why i did not attend the event and criticised a few friends that did for making a mockery of the event. i cannot live up to the standards of what the pope means for me to live a "moral christian life". it's too much to bare for me as i am a person of weak will.

take for example, no sex before marriage. in my current situation, that's a little tough when you're dating a gorgeous british misty queen. plus, i'm being rational. marriage is something that hasn't come up yet in this relationship. let's say, hypothetically i lived the moral life as according to the pope and waited until marriage before doing the boogie. what if it doesn't work out between then and now? i'd probably kill myself knowing i missed an opportunity to do naughty things with misty queen. as you can see, i have a weak will and beautiful british girls who actually talk to me, make it even worse. i respect the couples who actually do wait, that's fucking amazing and all the power to you for it, but something i cannot do. and thankfully, neither can misty queen.

so when i saw those clips of those hundreds and thousands of young gathering at the pope's WYD events, it made me sick because few of those actually understand what it's about. the pope isn't there for your viewing pleasure but speak of how you should live. okay, maybe some young folks at WYD had a change of heart. the people i know that went are doing the exact anti-pope things they did in the past and this week have the galls to tell me pope's visit to toronto changed their lives and bring up the fact i did not go.

so that's how i'll remember the pope: the polish nationalist; a man devoted to his morals and would not budge despite the public light and open criticism; a mortal committed to something so great that few us even can begin to comprehend. you may believe it, but his determination was there until the very last breath. he tried to show that through WYD but sadly, whether it's the pope endless hope in the young or the youth's ignorance, the event's meaning got lost somewhere along the way.