funny how quick the holidays seem to breeze by.

maybe it's the way the days lack the structure of the regular week and how everyday just feels like a sunday.

maybe it's because this year i feel like a guest and have an obligation to make a night for everyone i haven't seen since september. i apologize to those that by the 4th night only got a marginal dose of what socialness was in me. i'm running empty just days and just want to tuck away in a bed with the xmas reading material santa gave my way.

and visiting relatives you see maybe 2-3 times a year seems to make the time fly as well; all with getting familiar with the latest happenings in their life.

funny cousins you once held in your arms now on the cusp of adulthood doing regular things you did that age but having your 'baby' cousin laugh about doing bowls makes you feel old.

getting plastered with your 19 year old brother and arguing with him that the liberals will not dare to bring down the harper government makes you realize your own brother knows about the world than how to play xbox, watch every damn move in the public library, play terrible guitar and get stoned. doesn't mean he's right but at least knows what a minority government is.

and the sister still pretends to be something she is not. and if that what she is, you feel sorry for her and the trapped self imposed world she is in. trying to get at her and help her grow out of it just makes her defensive and angry that you no longer bother.

she'll come to the painful realization very soon that her attitude and view on life will be difficult to change the older you get. besides, the holidays aren't time for psycho babble but trying to get through the few full days with the family without bursting out things you've wanted to say for years.

and as tempting as it was watching cp24 with all happy boxing day shoppers, i didn't give in to temptation this year. all with no income part and terribly in school debt with every single minute curbed the enthusiasm to spend money junk i don't need. besides, great deals on product stores can't seem to move prior to the holidays seems bleh. now my boxing excitement is whether i'll have enough dollars to cover tuition for the final semester while being able to eat more than every 3rd day.

all with the economy in the shitter, the deals will just come rolling way through '09. fuck boxing day, boxing year is in the works for the next 12 months.

by then hopefully i'll be rocking at least a minimum wage job to jump in on the excitement.