over the past few nights some have thrown positive words my way. that i need to stop being so hard on myself and that from their point of view, they could see why misty queen is my life. it was no hypodermic needle to cure the pain but acted as a suitable pain killer for the time being. i know i mentioned before that i need to look out for #1 first and the rest will work itself out, but it's hard to avoid considering what is best for someone else other than yourself. i really do want what is best for misty queen and that's where my troubles arise.

however, it's so difficult not to get selfish around her and snuggle her entirely for myself without letting another guy lay an eye on her. because you know they'll fall in love with her the way i did the first time she uttered a word. and i keep falling in love everytime a word exits her mouth.

take today, for example. after class i give her a call to see if she wants me to drive up to her super smart university campus and spend some time together. she said that she was in a "sticky wicket." my first thoughts were of her gorgeous petite body in one of those dinky kiddy pools covered entirely in chocolate syrup awaiting my arrival and to make passionate love with. but no. for the british a "sticky wicket" is a difficult situation and/or problem. she needs the afternoon to be spent in the library researching super smart things for a super smart essay that's due later in the week. she wanted to see me, but that was the "sticky wicket" and no work would get done if i was to keep her company. needless to say, i felt silly but wanted to drive to her campus anyways for yet again melting my heart for her beautiful use of this language of ours. and pinch her cheeks just for being so fucking lovable. she made talking about school related resarch almost give me an erection because i had other ideas of what's a sticky wicket.

now off to do my own school-related work but knowing nothing will get accomplishment desperately awaiting the arrival of misty queen later tonight where i might put together my visual of a "sticky wicket".