where i work there is a girl who looks just like a porn actress i am all too familiar with. when fantasy is mixed with reality, you can't function properly and act like normal civilized person. i want to have a normal co-worker relationship with her and pretend to be actually instered on what one says, but i have trouble with co-worker-porn-star-look-alike. all i want to do is ask her, "does that actually work?...how were you able to physically do that scene?" that's all i want to know from her based on the questions i have about the real porn star. also i wanna take her out too lunch, pay for it and when she asks what i want instead, i just scratch my chin and say, "well... there is one thing you can do." next thing you know light bass music begins and within moments we are making sweet passionate love on diaper changing table in the mcdonald's washroom. that's what would've happen in the porn movie and this co-worker makes me think about porn too much. the only problem is that she does not seem to be the type that would fornicate with another in exchange for mc dee's combo #4. i guess the moral of the story is because someone looks like someone you see on television, doesn't mean they are the same person at all. instead of trying to find someone based on the ideal type you've created in your mind, get to know the person for who they are and what you want them to be.

i have a tendency to judge people based on their place of location and ethnic background. it's my screening process and a sort of administrative tasks of categorizing the complexity human life in simple easy-to-understand file folders. i think the appropriate word for this is: stereotype. here's a few examples of the way this process plays itself out in my mind. one day i meet a polish male and assume the following: probably a big dickhead, know it all, functional alcoholic, do not have non-polish friends, and has his head up his ass. if i meet a polish female i conclude the following: if things go accordingly (ie: i spend money on her), she will be naked within the next 48 hours. i meet an american, male or female: i assume they think they are better than me. in all my life and all the americans i've met, only one didn't think she was better than me. though she was, that's not the point. when i meet a jew i think: you're probably 20 times wealthier than i'll ever be and yet you continue to shop at discount store. when i meet an eastern indian female, i think that would possibly be interested in loving a nice white boy but her papa would slaughter her if she came home with a non-indian. which is a shame because they have the kama sutra and us white boys could learn a thing or two from that funky erotic book. practical training so to speak. if you're a christian i assume: you think you have it better because jesus is watching over you, you're boring and a virgin awaiting the wedding night.

when i meet black a person i think to myself: i don't know why are you so marginalized as being the evil of the world but the way you are looking at me makes think you've got illegal plans transpiring in your mind. i'm sorry blacks of the world, i really wish i did not have these hackneyed thoughts but my mind has been warped by years of bad experience and watching the idiot box. granted, i know the majority of you are good people, contributing to society in positive means, but we needed a scape-goat behind the plagues of the modern world. i guess it was your race was pulled out of the hat when we chose to hold a group of people to be responsible for the way we are collectively fucking up. i know it's not fair because your life is way harder than a white person. but when i see a black person in a position of authority and higher status, i think to myself, "fucking right! you've beat the system." you have no choice but to pay deference to these situations because that's determination and persistence to the 11th degree. that's someone how took control of their life and made something of it when they are expected to the problems of society.

yes stereotypes are practical ways of putting people around into the simple "other" groupings and that isn't necessarily good. you see from the examples above how anyone of that particular background could get offended on how i approach them when i meet them. but that's not the point of stereotypes. in the long run, one needs to judge stereotypes in the ways people break away from the conventional preceptions we have about others. it means you refuse to be pigeon-holed and want to assert your individuality. if you're black and allow me to think of the ways mentioned above, it means you're giving up and your potential is wasted. you've given in to their ways of limiting you and making you a mere cog in the machine. this is not the way i want to think about others, i really do not. i want to know the person as the individual not the stereotype and typically these are the people i have in my life today. when i met them, they were plain paradigms of their backgrounds, today they are free souls not bothered by what is expected of them. they construct their own realities and for that, i love them all.